Ode to the speed humps

The road was fine not a pothole in sight,
But then appeared the speed humps, we got quite a fright.
A blow to the head and a knock to the knee,
As the speed humps kept coming, oh how can it be?
Then the road it was smooth, aaah the end of the humps,
We relaxed a little too soon because back came the bumps.
They were back with a vengeance, every car length or two,
It sounds like a joke, but I am not kidding you it's true.
When they are no longer needed, the road gang chips them away,
To reconstruct them again on another road on another day.
So alway remember that a Ugandan road is a very dangerous place,
If you don't fall into a pothole you'll get bounced over a speed hump and damage your face!

Ode to cheese

My friend Helen has a fridge full of cheese,
It's a valuable thing in Uganda, it doesn't grow on trees.
Some is soft and some is hard,
And some may even be made of lard.
Before we came here we all took cheese for granted,
For we could have as much or as little as we wanted.
But now cheese is expensive so we treat it like gold,
In the fridge at Helen's place it is staying pretty cold.
So here's to the cheese and all the joy it may bring,
I shall sneak into the fridge at midnight, no-one will suspect a thing!

Rhinos, waterfalls and speed bumps

Wow that was a fine way to spend a weekend. We departed Kampala early to head off into the bush but man we didn't expect to have to encounter the speed bumps from hell - what were they thinking. Road travel is always an adventure in Uganda! There was a section of road just outside Masindi on the way to Murchison Falls National Park that is kind of under-construction. In order to prevent cars from traveling too fast there are a series of speed bumps. Actually there are thousands of them about two car lengths apart for about eight kilometers. Of course they just appeared, so there were a few minor head injuries going over the first few before we planted ourselves and hoped to survive without a traumatic brain injury or serious neck issues. Luckily I guess, as I am not sure what the Rehab facilities are like here!

Anyway apart from the speed bumps and the puncture and the frequent visits to gas stations (every hour - must have has the vehicle with the smallest gas tank in history) and the steadily deteriorating roads - we managed to get to Murchison Falls without too much drama!! We stayed in Safari Tents at a pretty cool campsite with resident warthogs. On the way to our home for the weekend we stopped at the top of Murchison Falls which was absolutely breathtaking. The vista looking down the chasm of the Falls to the Nile below was just so stunning and will stay with me forever. There was fabulous light when we were there too so all was very, very fine. The volume and power of the water crashing down was thunderous. If anyone is looking for somewhere to go that's a bit out of the way......

Saturday we went game driving but we missed seeing the lion by slighly more than a whisker. Some others saw her though, and she was a beauty. We had to settle for giraffe, elephants, hippos, heartibeasts, cobs, a variety of birds and more than a couple of warthogs. After dodging the apple eating baboon we set out on an afternoon of leisure on the Nile. We took a boat trip to see the Falls from the river. It was a sensational afternoon. We saw hippos, even an albino one and a herd running which was a very amusing sight. There were also crocodiles and elephants and birds and hippos and hippos and hippos. Oh and did I mention we saw some hippos. They are in no danger of extinction, in fact they are may just be taking over the world. Can someone let me know if they are spotted in the Derwent! The Falls from the Nile were pretty special as well and we floated along the river back to our camp as the sun was setting over the Nile, it was magic really. Had to celebrate with a Nile Special of course.

On Sunday we made tracks back to Kampala and stopped at Ziwa Rhino Sanctuary. Rhinos became extinct in Uganda after the turmoil of the last decades but they are setting about reintroducing them and doing a fabulous job. You can trek to see some rhinos. They are not totally wild but hopefully eventually will be and the rhino will be back in the forests of Uganda. We treked only a short while in the grasslands before we found a couple of rhinos. A male and female, I couldn't believe how close we got to them. The male got up at one stage and we got a really good look at him. Not really a traditionally handsome creature but spectacular nevertheless. I was a bit worried with my experience of being chased by a Nepali rhino in the forefront of my mind. This couple were pretty docile however and not so interested in charging us - thankfully.

Oh then it was back to Kampala and the cold reality of fearing for one's life with every footstep. Oh Kampala, I love you and your tretcherous streets and person sized potholes and cows and goats in the middle of the road and crazy drivers. How joyful it is to know one has survived the roads for another day........

Today I met Agnes

Far from her village in the capital city,
She makes the most of each opportunity, she commands no pity.
Life is hard in Kampala but she smiles through each day,
But yearns for her family in a place far away.
It's many years now since her dear Daddy died,
Leaving Mummy behind with 8 children by her side.
TB and Malaria claimed his young life,
And that 'other' disease gave this family more strife.
When AIDS claimed her Aunty, like so many others,
Many more children were missing their mothers.
So the families united, together in grief,
To still have each other must have been some releif.
Together they worked hard in the fields every day,
To strive for a better future it was the only way.
Now Agnes is studying so she can give care to another,
Lessons learned well from the hand of her mother.

Ode to moving house

I moved down the road, on a fine sunny day,
Loaded with my life possessions, I got lost on the way.
Finally with glee I found my new abode,
It was quite a releif to lighten the load.
But inside was grimey, never cleaned in a year,
The power was off and cholera was near.
It was too much to bear so we called in Medina,
She cleaned high and low, you should have seen her.
Then there was power, what a fine place to reside,
When the water deserted us we may well have cried.
But the water came back with quite a blast,
Oh happy days we are home at last.

Ode to no water

Oh how it would be if the tap would turn and water come out,
There would be so much joy, I would dance and shout.
I could have a shower and the toilet would flush,
Oh yes that would really be quite lush.
But while the tap it may turn, alas it is silent and dry,
And I am left grimey and wondering why.

Crocodiles and Chaos in the time of Cholera

Were to start, that is the question, so much seems to have happened in the last week it seems more like a month, so I hope I don't forget anything important.

The work week went well, there were a few highlights. Firstly we had a meeting with the Ugandan Nurses council which actually went really well and was very positive and lively and we think we can really do some great work with them ... and believe me there is a lot that needs to be done. During the meeting we were given morning tea which consisted of tea/coffee, peanuts and a banana wrapped in a serviette. We hadn't eaten the banana by the end of the meeting but my colleague from the Uni Gerald suggested that we should eat the banana. It seemed appropriate to eat the banana as it had been given to us and we didn't want to offend. So we sat around with the registrar at the end of the meeting eating bananas which kind of struck me as being very funny and I still have a chuckle about it now. I can't imagine that happening at home.

Also on the work front I have new role taking profile pictures of the students. We were given some laptops by a charity in Belgium and the students went in to a lottery and the lucky ones have to have profiles done so students in Belgium can select someone to give to laptop to and keep in touch with them over the course of their studies. The photography has been fun and given me a chance to get to know the students which has been good.

Cholera broke out down the street which was a bit of a thing really. So far there about twenty cases and three deaths in our area but more in other parts of Kampala. They are expecting it to peak in about 6 weeks, so the 'best' is yet to come I guess. I went down to look at the area today, it is a slum area that backs onto the disused railway tracks and a swamp. Man it was an eyeopener. Very squalid conditions. The little shanty houses don't have toilets and they have to pay to use the latrines of which there are only a few and people cant afford to pay so they just toilet on top of the rubbish. You could see human excrement on the rubbish piles which were numerous. Then the rain comes and washes everything into the streets and houses I guess. And the funny thing is that just the next suburb is quite well off and some very rich folk with nice houses where I am sure they don't have to pay for the toilet. Uganda is certainly a place of great contrasts. Some folk have absolutely nothing, not even a toilet and others drive around in BMW 4 wheel drives. Hmmmn...

Friday this was a public holiday for Ugandan Independence Day which ment three days off so a great chance to get out of the city and see a bit of Uganda. On Thursday we had drinks after work and I was walking home with one of my housemate and I swear I had only had one beer but suddenly I disappeared into a ditch at the side of the road. One minute walking along, next minute in ditch, wouldn't read about it really. Anyway I got quite a shock as you can imagine and am still wearing the battle scars to prove it. I was actually quite proud. That was my first fall in Uganda. I've had a few more since then!!

So off the Jinja on Friday for whitewater rafting which was pretty exhillarating to say the least. And I may say it was incredibly terrifying especially as we flipped our raft twice and ended up in the drink in the middle of the hugest rapids I care to imagine. I am not sure why but I didn't die, so that was good but it was touch and go. The second time we came out someone landed on my head and I went way down into the neverland, but came up eventually and live to tell the tail. I only felt partially alive however in the evening of the rafting as I think half the Nile water was lodged in my right ear

On Saturday we hired bikes and rode around a bit but lazed around a bit too as it kept raining and we found a good spot to spend the afternoon so that ended up being a bit of a lazy afternoon but a good time was had by all. Sunday was much more adventurous as we got lost on a short walk, which turned out to be a long walk without any water that was highlighted by our accidently stumbling to the path of three crocodiles and then getting lost in a snake infested sugar cane field. Somehow more by luck than good management we managed to survive that experience also and made it back to our camp although I was feeling like Burke and Wills or Scott of the Antartic for a while. Actually more like Burke and Wills I think as it was pretty hot.

Finally, finally, finally we arrived back in Kampala at about 10pm. We got caught in the obligatory 'jam' which always adds the the adventure and uncertainly of road travel in Uganda. It could take one hour, it could take four. One just has to go with the flow really.

So Jinja was fabulous, we had a great weekend away and will definitely go back sometime soonish.

So let's see what this week brings, don't know really what to expect yet. That's what I am enjoying about life in Kampala, you never really know what is going to happen or when, its crazy really. So until next week.......

Ode to Sunburn

I went to the country club and lay in the sun
It seemed harmless enough and oh so much fun
Unfortunately I left my sunscreen elsewhere
And the sun scorched me fiercely as my skin is so fair
Gosia was smart she had factor one thousand and one
I shall borrow that next time I go out in the Ugandan sun
But now my skin is itching and peeling and weepy
I looked in the mirror and it's a little bit creepy
Enough of this now you think I would have learned
That if you forget your sunscreen you're gonna get burned

The Lows..The Highs..Bucket Showers and Carbohydrates

Well, well its been quite a week. Starting work promised to be so wonderful but in reality it was pretty challenging. Our employers had been instructed that we had two weeks of observation and induction, so after expecting this when I arrived at the agreed time I waited an hour (waiting is a skill you have to learn quickly in Africa) and had two hour orientation then was told I could go to my office and start work. It was pretty confusing to say the least. That was Monday but Tuesday was worse. Being a very brave and courageous person (just like a lioness) on Wednesday I set out some objectives and went to my boss with them. Surprisingly that all went swimmingly well and each day got better after that, so now I am feeling very positive again...

That's enough about work. Outside work there has been lots of socialising, sweating, dodging potholes, cars and motorbikes and trying to make sense of this delightfully off-beat city. The house I am staying in at the moment has lots of very hot water but no shower. So it's a bucket shower for me. You kind of get good at it after a while and it starts to feel quite normal. I can't bring myself to go the the trouble of washing the hair though with this system - it just seems like far too much trouble. After the hair challenge though I know I can successfully last seven more weeks so all is good.

The food is interesting. It is certainly carbohydrate rich. There is mushed steamed banana called Matoke, you are ment to love it but in reality it should be banned or used to fill the potholes perhaps. There is another special arrangement made from casava flour which I can only liken to solidified clag glue, it is truly something to behold. Luckily there is plenty of fresh produce around to lighten the load. Oh I'd better not get started on the meat, Ugandans seem to prefer to knuckly, gristley, boney bits so popular with Olive and Earl.....

Well that's enough for now, generally life is good and there is something new to discover around every corner......

One Night in Kampala

It's five in the taxi parks and everything is fine,
But the taxis aren't moving they just stand in line.
Maybe you'll find away across to the other side,
But watch out for the muddy potholes, you might take a slide.
The Nile Special is special what more can I say,
A fine way to bid farewell to the day.
The babies are begging out in the night,
It's time to go home now it's a pretty sad sight.
As darkness descends the taxis move a bit faster,
Best get out of the way or you may end up in plaster.
It's home in the taxi for the brave and courageous,
We'll be back at the weekend, what will become of us!